Dancers vocab

Journalism has trained me in an intellectual stamina, not a physical one. My idea of warming up for a long day is- a cup of tea. When I feel tired, I have a cup of tea. I snack all the time. When my entire office sits together for meetings, we are all angling for the Bourbon chocolate biscuits and calling the peon to make us tea. The physical ramifications of such a lifestyle are- flab, aching back, paunch, overworked wrist, acidity. And an enlarged capacity to sit and talk.
Now, let me explain what stamina in a dancers world means. It means being on your toes for more than 12 hours. It means that each day you warm up, stretch, do pilates and practice choreography. Contrary to logic, such an intense lifestyle requires you to eat lesser, healthier, and skip lunch if possible. In my world, eating salad and fruit ceases to make it a meal.
Just so we leave no confusion about the above terms, I shall explain them.
Warming up- A) refers to something cardiovascular, like running, swimming etc. Anything that has your butt stationery for more than one minute doesn’t qualify. Doing your laundry, strolling with your friends, having hot chocolate isn’t warming up (it seems everyone knew that except me). B) it’s really important before you begin exercising.
Stretches- are a euphemism. Especially when there is an 85 kilo dancer sitting on top of you! Stretches are supposed to be the magical antidote to hardcore dancing. They prevent your muscles from tightening and hurting. Right now though, the stretches hurt more than anything else! They are the only class when boys squeal like girls, and girls want to sink their teeth into the instructors arm. If nothing else, this class is definitely preparing us for childbirth, in terms of pain and opening up the hip region.
Pilates- is basically muscle building, using your own body weight. It helps chisel your figure to look like a Greek god. If only the creators of pilates knew that I worship different gods. My gods have a paunch like me. They are easily won over by sweets. (google Ganesha if you don’t believe me.)
I am currently more than 16 inches above the ground when I do a split. And my waist must be 30 inches or so. So I don’t know which class is more ambitious, pilates or stretching.
I definitely do know which one is close to impossible. Choreography! Since I promised my loved one’s not to get disheartened, I take deep breaths, say a little prayer and begin the 2/3 hours of choreography.
I’m quite geeky, and live in my head. My body just tags along with my mind. If aliens were to land on earth tomorrow, kidnap me and teach me their language, I would probably pick it up as fast I’m picking up the choreography right now.
The choreographer shows us the step methodically. I can see what is to be done. So I tell my body, ‘now come on, follow those instructions’. But my body seems to dislike me these days. It just doesn’t follow my orders. I’m yelling ‘move, legs, move!’ in my head, but my legs seem to have a mind of their own. They just politely ask me to go take a hike.
My body’s my renegade companion. Apparently, muscles are the cure for such situations. They help you control your body better. Yesterday, our choreographer teacher Muge asked me to control my torso when I jumped, to carry the weight with my abdomen, not my legs. To stress the point further, she poked her finger into my tummy to point out the muscle. Her finger though, just sank in. So she changed her strategy. “You must be having muscles somewhere, or else how would you stand?” she said
It is indeed a miracle how I stand these days.